Ism #8: Want Fries to Go With That?

Have you ever said something stupid? I'm not talking "Pull my finger!" stupid. I'm talking reputation-destroying your-friends-will-never-look-at-you-the-same-way stupid. The kind of stupid that is followed by immediate regret and an irresistible desire to hide yourself in a closet, living off of any crumbs that come your way until nuclear war/2012/zombies destroy every shred of evidence that the horrific event ever occurred. Ever done something like that?

Yeah, me neither.

But the closest I ever came to it was about a few weeks ago. I was making a late-night run to McDonald's with my friends Bryan, Joey, Corey, and Jake. We were trying to find creative ways to order our food in the drive-thru (we had come up with a few schemes earlier and now wanted to top it). We would blare the song "Touching You" on the radio while one of us sat on the hood of the car rocking out on the guitar. Unfortunately, this latest scheme failed due to lack of guts on our part. With our heads bowed low, we returned from McDonald's with our food feeling--dare I say it--normal.

As we were walking back to the dorm, we discussed different ways we could order our food in the future. Jake suggested, "What if we ordered our food in French?"

Knowing the philosophy of just about everybody who works at fast food, I warned him, "Not if you don't want to get herpes in your food."

As we neared the dorm, Bryan suggested, "What about Koine Greek?"

Not noticing the cute brunette who was now well within earshot of us, I obliviously exclaimed, "That might be worth getting herpes."

On an unrelated note, closet crumbs aren't half bad.